Archive for November, 2007

In the film “Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont,” a young and handsome writer, Ludo, and an elderly woman strike up a friendship that seems to border wistfully on the edge of becoming a romantic relationship (another time, another place…). When an ex-girlfriend comes upon them sharing company on a park bench, she cynically implies that there is a “Harold and Maude” connection. Unfortunately, this film (and perhaps the novel) doesn’t make the jump from the admiration of a receptive young man for an elderly woman to the physical appreciation of an aging body that still contains its sensuality. This took me back to the film “Harold and Maude” and how the character of Maude embodies what this site is all about–that if you are sensually aware of your surroundings, then you are truly alive in all senses of the word, including your sexuality. If you need lessons on how to enjoy the moment, watch “Harold and Maude”–for lessons on treasuring the past and perhaps missing the treasure of the present, watch “Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont.”

I have to admit that I sent the URL for this site www.barefootaphrodite.com out to very few male friends and then I wonder how many men would actually be interested in the sensuous films reviewed here rather than just dismissing them as “chick flicks.” One male friend that I wrote to replied: ” It looks like you could be providing a valuable service here, mostly for women but also for men who appreciate that sexuality is part of a spectrum of living richly through the senses.” Wow! Maybe there are more men out there that might be interested than I thought!

I also have been pondering different cultures and whether men from certain cultures are more sensual (and thus perhaps more sexually aware of what is pleasing to women?) than others. This led me to look at the list of sensual films for women on our site and the countries they are from. Of course, the majority are in English but there are several films in Spanish, French and Italian, one Swedish film and a Japanese film. If you look at the sensual ranking of these films, it is interesting that the French film “Amelie” and the Spanish film “Y Tu Mama Tambien” have the highest sensual rankings among the foreign films as well as among all the films in general. One is very romantic and not sexual at all and the other is very sexual indeed. The Swedish film “Under the Sun” is ranked very highly as well and is also one that the reviewers on the site suggested as the best film to watch with a guy.

So no conclusions, but interesting to look at nonetheless. If you are a woman visiting, pass the URL on to a guy and see what he thinks. If you are a guy visiting, let us know your take!

We asked our reviewers to look at our list of sensual films on www.barefootaphrodite.com and choose the best one to watch with a guy. With only half the results in, “Under the Sun” is the winner with “History of Violence” coming in second. Some other suggestions were “Y Tu Mama Tambien” and “Year of Living Dangerously.” So, if you’re looking for a sensual film to share with a guy, try one of those and let us know the results!

I bought a new cookbook recently (I like to cook but more than that, I like to read cookbooks like good fiction and let my imagination run wild)–”Nigella Express.” A blurb from the New York Times review for this book reads: “Ms. Lawson brings to life the sensual aspects of cooking, helping you understand not only what you are after, but also the pleasure of the journey.” Ah, the pleasure of the journey!

Thinking about the pleasure of food, I began thinking about films that made use of food in a sensual way. I think of Audrey Hepburn playing Holly Golightly in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” getting out of a taxi at dawn in her rumpled but elegant party clothes with a cup of coffee in hand–she digs a croissant out of a small bag and nibbles on it and sips on coffee while looking in the window at Tiffany’s. I think of “Japanese Story” and the Japanese business man who slips each individual baked bean onto his fork at breakfast while his Australian companion eats the sausage with her hands and licks her fingers. I think of Alan Bates in “Women in Love” demonstrating how to eat the flesh of a ripe fig like it is the pleasure place of a woman. And then I think of “Tom Jones” and the lusty meal at the inn where Tom and his companion lick and smack and tear flesh from the bone as if it is foreplay. And I’m sure there are many more that I can’t think of right now (I didn’t see it but wasn’t there a sexy spaghetti scene in “Flashdance?” ). How wonderful to extend the sensual to include food and all its tastes, textures and colors.

Most of the above films are not listed on www.barefootaphrodite.com . While we may find a single scene from a movie quite sensual, we are looking for films that we find sensual overall. However, a future endeavor may be to think of these scenes which are often quite powerful as we remember them rather than the whole film. Any suggestions of other scenes or films?

Have you ever gone to the video store and chosen what you thought would be a romantic/sensual/sexy movie based on the photos and the little review blurbs on the cover? How often have you been disappointed? That’s another reason www.barefootaphrodite.com came into being–so many movies, so little time to waste on something that is not at all what you were looking for. “Little Children” always comes to mind for me. The movie poster shows beautiful Patrick Wilson lying on his belly nude with Kate Winslet seemingly nude behind him and both sweaty from love-making. The story is supposedly one of an adultorous affair that unsettles the world of bored suburbanites. No mention of the cruel and unsettling trials and tribulations of a creepy sex offender and his mother. Whether you like the movie or not, the movie poster suggests something much different than what the movie is about. So browse for sensual films on Barefoot Aphrodite, rate the movies for sensuality on the site and send your own suggestions. Save us all some time at the video store or browsing on Netflix! 

Just when I think I won’t be able to find another of the few sensual films for women, another one pops up. Last night I sat down with a good friend and a glass of wine and watched “Stealing Beauty.” Liv Tyler is not my favorite actress but her innocent eyes and youthful luciousness really worked as a nineteen-year-old ready to lose her virginity but hoping for it to be special. Beautiful Italy, an artist colony, a mixture of languages and cultures, eating meals out under the grape arbor, huge parties at a mansion…! This will definitely be a future feature for www.barefootaphrodite.com ! Look for the reviews on the site in the future!

When people ask me what I do (besides raising my daughter and keeping up with housework), I say I have a web site. When they ask me what it’s about, I used to say, “It’s a site that offers sensual film for women.” This would often be met with an “Oh-ho!” or a glazed look or a nervous look. People either think I am talking about sex toys and porn or unsure about what sensual means. In fact, we had to redefine “sensual” for our web site: “The return of the sensuous to sexuality, a pleasuring of the senses that contributes to desire.” And if I look at the list of American movies that have made it on to our list of sensual picks–Don Juan Demarco , Benny and Joon, French Kiss, 50 First Dates–they have a lighter, humorous take on sensuality than foreign films like Y Tu Mama Tambien, Swimming Pool or Under the Sun which take a deeper, more sexual view of sensuality. That’s not to say that one is superior to the other but I would like to see women/people get excited about sensuality, what it means and how to explore their own without the perception that it is somehow naughty or threatening. When I get asked about www.barefootaphrodite.com now, I answer that it’s a site about film for women–and that people can swallow but show less interest in. Why not explore our interest in the sensual?! Movies are a simple way to start the discussion!