DON JUAN DEMARCO (1995)

I remember when this movie came out, but really only because of the cheesy theme song composed by Bryn Adams – "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?" If my expectations were based on the song then I would expect something sweet, but not great, that inexplicably gets stuck in your head. Since one of my favorite actors, Johnny Depp, is in this movie, I tried to put my low expectations aside to enjoy this movie.

I realized once the movie began that it would require suspending reality. You see, Johnny is playing a character that really believes he is the legendary Don Juan DeMarco. Oh what the hell, if I ran into a man in costume who was as hot as Johnny Depp, I’d probably go with the act for a night of pleasure with the "world’s greatest lover."

I have to admit, when "Don Juan" did something like caress a woman’s hand or give one of his sultry looks, I got slightly weak in the knees. His dialogue is a bit too flowery for me but as long as Don Juan shuts up in the bedroom, I might be able to accept it. I do find it kind of charming that he’s so damn earnest, which is why I love Johnny Depp. He could sell me shit on a stick. I actually believe him when he says things like, "Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love until your very senses fill with her? You know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her and without her it must surely end."

In response to this line, tossed off while "Don Juan" stands on the edge of a billboard threatening to kill himself, Marlon Brando’s Dr. Jack Mickler says, "Why lose hope along with life? Why lose everything?" Marlon Brando my have lost his looks by the time he made this movie, but he still had a way with words and delivery. Watching him and Johnny together was actually intriguing.

I love that "Don Juan" sees women for who they are - he sees them inside and out. He appreciates their beauty so much that he wants to give them the greatest pleasure of their life. For "Don Juan," love is the answer to all of life’s big questions. I love that this sense of awe and wonder of women and love rubs off on Dr. Mickler, who turns to his wife one night and says, "We’ve surrendered our lives to the momentum of mediocrity…what happened to all the celestial fire that used to light our way?" Thanks to "Don Juan," they rediscover each other and their love life becomes young and playful again.

I found "Don Juan" to be a sensual character but unfortunately, this movie didn’t manage to blow away my meager expectations. Sure, it was cute enough but - although "Don Juan" might be disappointed in me - I couldn’t look past his fantastical storyline enough to give this my sensual thumbs up. If nothing else though, ladies, this movie is worth watching just to look at Johnny Depp for 90 minutes.